Conversation involves speaking and listening. The absence of one does not produce a conversation. Hence, there is no good conversation. It is just simply talking without aiming to achieve any value out of it. Gossiping and self-proclamation are part of it. Sadly, everyone wants to talk.
This digital age enthralls me with how society nowadays gets too extremes in their manner of building and maintaining relationships. It’s either they are too engrossed with their techie gadgets or they talk at the same with their buddies.
Many years back, I recall how people are so contented and fulfilled about sharing common interests or experiences that are useful to apply in each other’s way of living. Back then, people speak with the aim to exchange ideas. By exchange I mean, there is a speaker and a listener and vice versa whether it’s between two people or in group. This makes a “REAL” good conversation and it commands respect.
As the world ages, the quality of filial and public relationships also worsens because of the lack of substance in speaking. Let us focus on this 3 How’s:
- How do we bring back the old tradition of achieving sincerity and full knowledge out of a face-to-face conversation more than a virtual conversation?
- How do we make sure that there is always meaning in what we say even if we are just telling a simple story, sharing a thing that is worth the time of the listener, or is it necessary to broadcast it in public?
- How can we instill the great value there is in having a good conversation? For us and those we speak with it.
Think of someone who brings out the best in you every time you have this conversation with them. The feeling of spontaneity and naturalness just seem to overflow unconscious of time and longevity. It is because you find great meaning in those exchange of ideas and you wanted it to apply in your own ways to bring out the best in you.
Executing meaningful conversations is not inherited. It can be acquired through practice, focus, and passion having in mind the goal to be the best that you are. Learn these five significant traits to become a good conversationalist (speaking and listening effectively):
For example, the other person can be too absorbed in sharing his traveling experiences from all over the world. Why not politely interrupt with a praise “you must have learned a lot of useful things and can become a travel consultant for being an experienced traveler.” Positive remarks like this can fuel a meaningful discussion which can benefit the listener eventually. If the speaker brings up something, surely it is of interest to them. As the listener, you will find value if you can contemplate on the other areas related to their interests which you can get them to share. This will open the door to breakthroughs and benefit your own goals and needs.
Then again, this can only be achieved if there is always value to what the speaker is saying. Otherwise, it is really difficult to pay attention if the talker’s way of speaking is too self-centered and incessant to the hearer.
Who would want to appear non-sense during conversations? The feeling is great when you know that people wants to speak with you if you are both a good listener and a speaker. They find great value in you during conversations and they will always look forward to that opportunity.
Listening genuinely and actively also helps create awareness of the amount of time we spend in speaking to someone.
In the same way, you should also pay attention to what they say. Be with the person not only in the tone of your words but also in your expressions. Sincerely show a brightened face when they speak about happy and exciting things while exhibit a sympathizing look when they share sad news. Active listening and eye contact is the key to make people always want to have that cup of coffee conversation with you.
Exchange of conversations should make both persons perceive the thought of being completely absorbed in each other’s dialogue. Practicing this graceful behavior makes the speaker and the listener react positively with each other.
Loud and crowded places are not ideal to achieve profound conversations. It calls for a gradual pace and stress-free atmosphere free of interferences. Cafes, parks, or gardens are great choices for this purpose.
After a good conversation, be mindful of reaching out in many ways. It is also crucial to extend a “how have you been since we last spoke?” or “did you find my recommendations helpful?” kind of candid follow-ups. It means a lot when we care about meaningful moments in one’s life. When you acknowledge the milestones in the lives of the people you spoke with, your value in them becomes instrumental in their way of living.
Who remembers these famous lines from one of the popular songs of Beatles, “The Sound of Silence”? - “People talking without speaking. People hearing without listening.”
Bear in mind that a useful conversation is always two-way. Listen as you would want to be listened to. Speak as you would want people to listen to you. Conversations need to yield fruits so that we can keep on exploring the varied paths to our well-being.
Whether you are communicating with your parents, spouse, children, relatives, colleagues, employers, clients, business associates, and even the minorities, speak with eloquence and listen with expression. Do this even if you are just simply sharing an experience or information, speak with value for the benefit of the other person and reciprocate it by listening with open ears and interest. You can do more than just talking and hearing.
It all boils down to one thing – VALUE. People looks up to a good conversationalist as a powerful influencer who adds value.
May you always find meaning in life through a good conversation.